


Tiny Ancient One

by captainkatieb



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Character Study, Characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, Gen, High Fae, High Lords, Magic, Origin Story, Prythian, The Night Court, powers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 19:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11020506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainkatieb/pseuds/captainkatieb
Summary: The story of Amren.--I drew in a deep breath, testing the lungs of this body, the limits of how far it could go. Bracing my hand against the wall of the cell, and forced my legs to push up from under me. Stabbing pain shot through them and caused me to gasp for breath. Wetness welled at my eyes, and I lifted my free hand to dab at them. I had not anticipated the pain, my new body’s reaction to it. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to the door, hand sliding against the rough stone wall to support my weight.I almost didn’t make it over the threshold.





	Tiny Ancient One

The door opened with a soft click.

The sound was unnaturally loud in the stillness of the cell. There was no whisper to accompany it. No breathings to mark the passing. Nothing.

It was utterly still. Waiting.

For me.

It was a long moment before I found the strength to push myself up on my hands. The dirt was coarse under them, grating against my smooth skin. The sensation was new. It took another long moment before I risked opening my eyes.

Darkness.

There was darkness all around. It was a different type of blackness to the one I had become used to. It seemed to grow and pulse, to take on a life of its own with the lack of a Free creature to curb it. I wonder if that was by design and will of the owner, or if it had sought out this hell hole and decided to make it its own. I still remember being here when the land was cleaved and that blast of power swept through claiming this loathsome, forgotten hell. I later found out it became part of a land called the Night Court. The High Lord had only visited once.

That was centuries ago.

I did not know exactly how long had passed. If it would be the same Lord or a new one. How much of the world I would recognise. The Fae called themselves immortal, but they would tremble if they really understood the meaning of the word, of how fleeting their lives really were.

I wondered if that was a limitation on me now. Of this body. It was as foreign to me as my language would be to them. Would I eventually reach an end? The thought sat strangely, tightened something in my stomach.

_ What had I done? _

I stopped the thought before I allowed it to consume me. No, I couldn’t think of that now. I had to get  _ out _ . Before…

I drew in a deep breath, testing the lungs of this body, the limits of how far it could go. Bracing my hand against the wall of the cell, and forced my legs to push up from under me. Stabbing pain shot through them and caused me to gasp for breath. Wetness welled at my eyes, and I lifted my free hand to dab at them. I had not anticipated the pain, my new body’s reaction to it. Gritting my teeth, I forced myself to the door, hand sliding against the rough stone wall to support my weight.

I almost didn’t make it over the threshold.

As soon as my foot nudged that invisible line, a force ripped through me, freezing me in place. My entire body rebelled, contorting.

_ I am Fae, I am Fae, I am Fae and I am  _ free _. You do not hold me. I am not who you are looking for. _

I didn’t let any other thought enter my head. I had known that my one chance of making it out of there was to not be discovered. I repeated it again, a mantra running through my head.

_ I am not who you are looking for. _

I stumbled forward, slamming into the ground as that invisible force released me. My hand was bleeding, red welling from the cut across my palm. The colour threw me for a moment, different to what I was used to. I pushed that thought aside, cursing my inability to keep them from rising. Who I used to be no longer mattered. It wasn’t important anymore.

 

The walk to the entrance of the Prison was agony. Each step had my body tensing with pain it wasn’t used to. Ascending from the pit they had thrown me in took every bit of strength I had. I had no knowledge of how long it took me to reach the final tunnel, the light from outside finally leaking through and piercing the darkness. My feet were raw and bleeding, the new skin not being able to withstand the jagged edges of the stones I tripped and stumbled over.

My eyes protested at the light from outside, but I had to keep going. I had to get out, get beyond the wards set here before they realised what I had done and that they were missing a prisoner. I had no intentions of going back.

The gates of bone swung open at my approach, silent on their hinges. My breaths were coming in short, panting gasps as I counted down the steps to that exit.

Fifteen. Fourteen. Thirteen.

I squeezed my eyes shut at the light, tears streaming from them

Twelve. Eleven.  _ Ten. _

I felt it then, the rumblings in the rock far beneath me. I felt my fellow prisoners attention, their thoughts brushing against mine through the stone. No…I didn’t come this far, didn’t come this close to be stopped now.

Nine, eight, seven, six…

The rumbling was louder, the rock began to vibrate under my feet causing my steps to stumble. Close. I was so,  _ so _ close.

Five…four…three…

The wind was roaring around me, cutting through the rough shirt I was wearing, attempting to tear it from my body.

I staggered forward, the last two steps taking an age to complete.

Free. I was  _ free _ .

The moment I crossed that threshold, everything stopped. The wind vanished as the bone gates snapped shut behind me, the rock stilled and the very air seemed to dry up.

I had to hide. I had to get off this rock. I had to move before they came. Before  _ he _ came. Through my pain I could sense the broken wards, the alarms they were ringing out for anyone bearing magical power to hear. I knew the High Lord would be along soon, that he would have to visit and rest them. Knew that it would be discovered that I was missing.

I stood outside those gates and blinked through my tears, forcing my eyes to open and take in the world. It was bright, too bright. But I had smelled the air, the salt from the ocean, could smell the scent of pine in the distance, and I had to see it. The colours assaulted my senses. They were too vibrant, had there always been this many?

Free, free,  _ free.  _ I was free.

Forcing myself to tear my eyes from the view, I looked down. I cursed. The path before me was more rocks, a narrow, winding path cutting through them to the edge of the island.

 

It took an age to make it down, every moment fearing discovery, fearing that I was going to be caught in the open. As the light began to fade, I started to shiver. I could tell that it wasn’t winter, but there was little protection offered from the winds that had resumed attacking the rock. My only hope lay in making it to the small strip of island jutting out towards the southern end and hoping that I still had strength to make it the distance between it and the mainland.

I heard it then. A distant thrumming in the air, the pulsing of movement. I started around, trying to spot it but my eyes were still weak, damaged from the blinding light of earlier. Too late. I was too late.

I had mere moments to throw myself into a crevice between two rocks, to push myself down into the growing darkness and to be as small as possible. Hiding was my only chance. I had to hope that they would be too focused on the Prison itself and assume I was free in my true form. Had to hope that they wouldn’t spend time searching the island.

A band of Fae warriors flew overhead, banking and circling to land. Their membranous wings reflected the last of the dying light, the glint of steel flashing every so often. Some of them had a glow around them, had what looked like stones on one of their fists. The leader of the band barked out orders, the warriors obeying instantly.

_ I am not who you are looking for _ .

I repeated it again, my mantra from earlier. Clung to it and pushed with all of who I now was.

_ I am not who you are looking for. I am not who you are looking for. I am Fae. I am Made. I am not who you are looking for _ .

I felt a touch then, a presence. It felt of darkness, twisted and cruel, of wicked pleasures and night-stolen coldness. And then it went away, as if I wasn’t worth examining. As if I was nothing. I did not dare breathe, staring up at the night sky knowing that he had finally come, the one that could undo everything.

“Make the Prison secure,” a voice dripping with icy honey said. “Then get back to the Hewn City. Report what caused this and who I need to punish.”

“Do we hunt them whoever was here, my Lord?” a rough voice answered.

A pause.

“Not yet. I have bigger problems to attend to than a child playing somewhere they shouldn’t.”

The voices moved away, moved up the hill, that presence going with them.

Slowly, carefully, I inched myself out of my hiding place. I didn’t rise above a crouch before I started running.

 

I don’t remember falling asleep. Don’t remember how I got to the edge of the island. All I remember was waking up, lying on what I worked out to be solid wood and a coarse material across me. My head was throbbing, the pressure on the side building up to a point where it was whitening out my vision.

I was going to throw up.

Groaning, I tried moving onto my side. I wasn’t used to all this pain. It had never touched me before, had never been worth noticing. I blinked, clearing my vision as much as possible.

The grey light of early morning greeted me. I was lying down next to a stack of crates. There were ropes holding them carefully into place. Worn ropes, crusted with salt and sand. Above, sails were drawn in, and I could just see the flecks of dark, midnight blue peeking from some of the folds. A crest of some kind. Other sounds drifted to me, footsteps creaked across timber, robes groaning, voices starting to rumble from below.

“Ahhh, sleeping beauty awakes,” a light voice commented from above me.

I snapped upright and instantly regretted the decision. Twisting and shoving the cloth – a rough blanket I realised – off myself, I emptied the contents of my stomach onto the deck of the ship.

Cursing, the owner of the voice jumped backwards.

“Sorry,” I croaked, wiping at my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Kalor, water!”

I sat back against the crates, shivering. Cold, I was so cold.

A pewter goblet was thrust at me. I took it, gulping down the cool liquid. It took all of a moment for me to vomit again. Dry, retching sounds filled the air as I coughed. A hand touched my shoulder, bracing me.

“Hell, girl, what—”

The voice broke off as I raised my head and his eyes met mine. Brown eyes in a tan face went wide, the hand pulling back from my shoulder. He flinched at whatever he saw in my face. Colour drained from his face.

“Cauldron above,” he whispered. “What  _ are _ you?”

I blinked, swallowing to bring moisture to my burning throat. “I…I’m…”

I had no answer.

What I was was a myth. A horror story mothers used to get their children to behave. I fable and a story lost to time. Now? If I had done it right I would look like High Fae but I didn’t know what else. I had used to have powers. I was too weak to even think about seeing if they still existed.

I opened my mouth, but was interrupted before I could try again.

“Whatever you are, I don’t want no trouble. I can take you as far as Port Cephorn. Two days. No more.” The hint of horror was still in his voice.

“How did I get here?”

“We picked you up, floating in the Cerabane sea, a few leagues off the coast of The Prison…” His eyes flicked down and took in my attire – the tattered shirt I still wore, my bare legs and feet. He met my eyes again before he licked his lips and shuffled on the spot nervously. “Uh, I mean…you’re not…”

I didn’t answer. Too dangerous, the question was too dangerous. Something stirred inside me, flickering just beyond my reach.

I owed this male a debt.

“You have my gratitude. I shall be no trouble. I’ll be gone as soon as we reach land.” My voice sounded strange to my own ears. Lighter than I remembered. It had been so  _ long _ since I had spoken out loud.

The male nodded. And nodded again, a range of emotions I couldn’t quite read flickering across his face. 

Curiosity, wariness, hesitation, fear.

He paused just after turning away.

“I’m Vestra. Vestra Tarfor. Just…” he waved his hand vaguely, “…if you need anything. I’ll send someone over with food.”

 

I was quick to work out that I couldn’t keep down normal food. The first two times I tried eating, it didn’t stay down long. I started refusing after that. It was easier, to tolerate the pain than to face what I knew it was. I had taken to spending time in the bow of the ship, propped up on one of the railings. There was so much air, so much open space as we made our way up the coastline. Away from the other fae on the…ship. The word felt wrong. No, not wrong. New. It was all new.

_ I am free _ .

It screamed at me through the wind, whipping my short hair around my face. The sun warmed my skin, delicious pinpricks of light soaking through. I had never felt anything quite like this.

_ I am free _ .

Two days had passed without any sign of that winged band, though I had spied some hovering around the port we were slowly gliding to. Two days, and a tension that I hadn’t been aware I had been holding began to ease.

Vestra had found clothes for me. Too big, too big by far but they would do. He only spoke to me when he couldn’t avoid it, the others on the ship keeping away. I wondered if the suspected where I had come from, considering where they picked me up from.

I didn’t mind.

This type of silence, of being able to hear others around but choosing not to speak, was liberating.

I felt a presence next to me, recognised as Vestra from the scent.

He cleared his throat. “We’ll be in soon. I’ll uh, get them to let you off first.”

I nodded.

Vestra waited before a moment, indecision written plainly on his face. I dropped down from my perch, feet landing lightly on the boards. I barely stumbled now from the rolling. I didn’t wait for permission before I strolled away. Other jumped out of my way, making a sign against evil.

If the males of this ship were going to be scared of me, I may as well give them something to be scared of.

I kept out of the way of the flurry of movement that occurred as the ship crawled alongside a dock jutting out from the quiet bay. Voices shouted commands, bodies of males working in teams to bring the ship to hand. There was beauty in the chaos, in the whorl of sounds and colour. There was no magic used that I could see. How did these fae do everything by hand? How did any of this happen without magic? It didn’t seem possible, but I was seeing it with my own eyes. It had been too long in the dark.

“Lady, if you please?” Vestra asked, holding out a hand.

I took it.

Surprise filled me at the sensation. I hadn’t touched anyone in this body yet. I wanted to pull my hand away, wanted to break that contact for a swirl of emotions rose in me. Not all of them were my own.

I stumbled slightly.

Shields. Where were my shields? I staggered around my own mind, panic rising in me. My mind was empty. No.

_ No _ .

I forced myself to breathe. Forced myself to draw air into my body.

I couldn’t bear it any longer. I snatched my hand back, shuddering.

_ I am Fae. I am made. I am free _ .

Not now. I couldn’t examine this too closely now. It had to wait. It had to… I had to get out, to get off. I needed to…

Moments had passed on the deck, Vestra only just finishing his curse at my sudden movement.

“Sorry,” I choked out. “Sorry. Slipped.”

Vestra merely raised a hand to my back to guide me towards the walkway being strung between the ship and the dock.

I tried not to flinch. I wasn’t wholly successful.

He drew the hand back, eyes narrowing at me.

“Look, I haven’t asked questions. Frankly, I don’t want to know but I have my suspicions,” he said carefully, voice dropping low. I held my breath, waiting. “You ain’t given me a reason to say they're wrong. I know what the penalty is of not reporting.”

“Ask it,” I challenged, my heart pounding in my chest. Breathing was still difficult, like a band of iron had been snapped around me. I felt that…something stir again.

“You came from the Prison.”

“Yes.”

We stood there, frozen. Waiting.

His reaction surprised me. There was no screaming, no backing away in terror. No calling for sailors to help contain me, no calling to the guards on the deck. He merely nodded, satisfaction in his eyes before he turned and gestured towards the walkway. As I cleared the planks onto solid, dirt ground, Vestra hesitated.

“I’m not the only one who worked it out,” he breathed, so quietly I almost missed it in the clamour of the port.

Before I could react, he had turned around and was striding up the walkway without looking back. A warning. Something wasn’t right here.

Shifting, I stepped out of the way of the movements of the Port. Clearly this was one of the trading spots, as citizens of the town where starting to make their way along the dock to the ship.

It was a small town, a smattering of buildings bordering the main streets, with smaller dwellings spreading out behind. I could see an inn, a tavern, and a few places of trade from my spot. There was a mix of creatures around – High Fae and lesser fairies, some winged and some not – all dressed in worn and used travelling gear. Cloaks were thrown across their back and every one of them was armed. From what I had gathered in the past days, this was one of the most northern seaports offering access to the Illyrian mountains. The winged lesser Fae – Illyrians, I reminded myself – called it home.

It looked brutal and cold.

I wondered where they came from. How this mix of bat-like wings and pure warrior had become part of the Fae bloodline. The only Fae I remembered with wings had been feathered.

It was overwhelming how much had changed. How much I needed to re-learn.

My stomach knotted, reminding me of how hungry I was.

I needed to get out of sight, needed to make sure that I wasn’t seen or remembered. Supplies were probably something I also needed to find if I was going to make it the south.

 

It was evening once I decided to slip from the town. I had managed to collect a few things throughout the day. A cloak from a forgotten peg in the Tavern, shoes left out to dry, a dagger from a saddlebag. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do.

I couldn’t stay here any longer.

I swung down from the loft of the stable I had sheltered in and slipped to the door, easing it open quietly. The street outside was empty, still.

Perfect.

I had barely made it down the street before I realised I wasn’t alone. I was being followed, their footsteps softly echoing mine.

I weighed up my options. Once, I wouldn’t have thought anything about taking on two enemies. Would have been able to disarm them with half a though. Now, I wasn’t sure.

A figure stepped out of the shadows at the end of the street, wings flaring behind him. He was tall, built of solid muscle, and his dark face gave away nothing. There was pure brutality on those features, etched into the scars and nicks of his hands. The glint of steel shone over one shoulder, and there was a strange jewel sitting on the back of one gauntlet.

I knew the two behind me would be the same.

“High Lord Regar has been looking for you, Prisoner.”

The voice was melodic, persuasive. I could see why he had been chosen to be the spokesperson.

I willed my voice to be cold, to not betray any of the raging emotions I was feeling. “Is he now?” I raised an eyebrow, attempting to look utterly unconcerned.

“You don’t deny it?”

A bark of hollow laughter echoed from me.

“Where would be the point in that?” I replied, smiling thinly.

I desperately searched inwards, willing any power that was left to me to help me. Once, I would make males tremble with a look. I collected debts from Kings who tripped over themselves trying to please me.

Maybe it had worked; that there was some lingering trace of what I used to have. There was a brief flicker in his gaze as he met my eyes, at whatever he beheld there.

Swiftly, too swiftly for me to properly track, one of the males behind me grabbed for me. I snarled, lashing out with my hands and kicking with my feet.

I would not go back to that rock. I  _ refused _ .

“There is no use resisting,” that first voice said, soothing in its tone, “we will never stop hunting you.”

Something in me raged, roared at that. My ears were ringing, my rage a boiling storm sweeping through me.

Pure power exploded out of me.

I hit the ground as the hands holding me let go. I pushed myself to my feet, panting. I could feel it there, feel it bubbling under the surface.

Three bodies were lying feet away; the wall of the building next to me was nothing but rubble. They were bleeding, the coppery tang hitting my senses as the dust faded.

I sniffed, my entire body going taut at the scent.

_ Hungry _ . I was so hungry.

A shout drew my attention and I snapped my head to it. I had taken a step towards the bodies without realising it.

I didn’t wait to see what would happen next. I ran from the street as shouting erupted from behind me, people pouring out of the buildings to see what had happened.

They put it together quickly and didn’t bother trying to stop me.

I didn’t stop running until I cleared into the forest. Until I had scrambled up a tree, trusting in the heightened fae senses to help me. Panting, I couldn’t help but feel relief. That I had got free. That I was never going back there. I thanked the Mother that these fae prayed to – thanked whatever grace had touched me – that I had some powers left. The emotion was so powerful that I laughed, before crying. Thick tears coming swift, gulping through mouthfuls of air. How did they cope with feeling so  _ much _ ? How would I adjust to this?

 

I don’t know how I go through that first night. Through the shifting of the forest around me, the cold seeping into my bones. No sleep was had, and I could barely control the shivers that raked through my body. I need food and I needed to find it fast or I wouldn’t survive another day. My stomach lurched at the thought. No, not food. Blood.

Of all the parts of my past existence to carry into this one, it had to be that one. It made sense really. I may appear fae, have the ears, the slender face and light steps, but who I was – am – remained the same.

So I hunted.

It didn’t take long, to track down a creature in the forest. It tasted…strange. But I didn’t care. All I could think of was drinking, and drinking, and  _ drinking _ . It tasted wonderful. The liquid still warm, heating me from the inside. I could feel some semblance of strength returning to my limbs.

I didn’t even care when a hunter crossed my path.

His face drained of blood as he saw me. Noted the dead creature below me and the blood dripping slowly off my chin onto the ground. 

I bared my teeth at him.

I remembered a tale then. As he backed away, making that sign against evil. A tale I had heard once when I was still new, still young. It wasn’t of this world. Of Bedwyr, and those that fell before him. Of his sons who carried on his legacy. I would too. I would make people tremble before me. Never again would I be caged. Leashed to one person or to one place. My choice. Everything I would do from this point would be a choice.  I smiled, a shaky laugh being forced fro me.

I am born not of this world and yet created from it. I am  _ made _ . 

They can call me Amren.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I am planning on turning this into a longer work, and have about five sections which will all be a few chapters each planned out. It starts before the time of the Inner Circle, and will eventually tell the meeting of Rhsyand and Amren and how she came to be his second. I don’t know how long it will take me, but I probably won’t post again until I have the next section done. Subscribing on AO3 is probably the easiest to keep up to date, but I will update how I am going on my [tumblr](http://captainkatieb.tumblr.com) too.
> 
> Thanks to [illyriantremors](http://archiveofourown.org/users/illyriantremors/pseuds/illyriantremors) for her kind words of encouragement with this!


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